Long post..but it’s worth it..promise.

This one has an interesting origin story. Its journey first started as a meditation on past traumas and some of the things in life that I’d been running from for sometime, but in order to give you the full story I must explain something else first…

I’ve been free from alcohol, cocaine and many of the other drugs I was once using going on 15 years now and I’m very proud of that. That being said… I’ve been every version of sober since then. Fully sober for many years, Cali sober, back to sober, not so sober, completely fell off(never went back to alcohol or cocaine),back to sober for years and now we come to this part of my life. 

I began to have a few thoughts/questions…

“What’s that feeling of anxiety that comes up when I get high and where does it come from?” And..

“What if I didn’t run from it?” “What if I sat with it and asked it what it needed?”

Thus began the journey of using psychedelics/THC as a conduit to bring up what I’ve been suppressing to work with it.

I’d go out to my studio and say to myself…you’re safe, you’re okay, you’re loved, here we go.

I’d take the medicine and get to work. I sat with my suffering and felt where it was in my body and asked it what it needed to feel heard, safe and protected. I also thanked it for its service in whatever role it played in protecting me, then said it’s okay to let go now. (side note: I was using what I know of IFS on myself which is a type of psychotherapy that views a person’s mind as a family made up of multiple sub-personalities, or parts, that can have both healthy and unhealthy roles.) Through this process I began to change my relationship to pain and past traumas. It was a truly profound and unimaginably important revelation and piece of my growth. After a few of these sessions I started to say the mantra…”take a look inside, take a look inside, and that’s when the song was born. I went straight to my acoustic and started writing, by the end of the day it was finished(for the most part).

I haven’t done one of these meditations in a while now, mainly because I haven’t needed to. I feel good these days. I found what works for me.

Damn…it feels good to get that off my chest and I truly hope revealing this to you doesn’t change the way any of you feel about me, my art or my integrity as a human being and artist. I ALWAYS want to be someone you and your children can look up to as a beacon for love, hope and positivity and I’m always reaching for a higher vibration.

This is a big one. If you’d like to, click the link HERE to pre-save the song :)